Do you listen to blogs?

I enjoy listening to blogs

I enjoy listening to blogs, especially whilst driving.  Often it will be on the drive home from Invercargill when I am feeling a little jaded and introspective after a day in town.

Bren󠄓ē Brown is my favourite Southern gal

I am enjoying Bren󠄓ē Brown’s “Dare to Lead” podcasts at the moment. Yesterday I listened to her interview with James Clear who wrote the book “Atomic Habits”. It was an easy interview to listen to. Brenē has such an easy way with those she interviews and it often feels as though she has been besties with them for years. In this podcast they discuss habits, goal setting and the likes.

So, so many goals over the years

I have set myself so many goals over the years that have failed time and time again. I am also my hardest critique so when another goal failed, I would beat myself up and carry that failure with me for much longer than I should have.  Time and age has also allowed me the grace to be kinder and gentler on myself. 

Fall short

Goals are fine to set but often we don’t achieve them or fall short.  James in the interview talked of a goal he had to lift a certain weight at the gym within a year – he achieved this goal 11 years later. The take home I got from this interview wasn’t about goal setting but deciding what type of person you aspire to be. 

Embody and avatar

So instead of wanting to release weight and go on a diet for example – that has an end goal of X number of kilograms released or a specific weight. James suggests you embody the avatar of a healthy person.  A healthy person works out 5 days a week; a healthy person would choose a chicken salad or wrap for lunch and not binge eat at midnight (these are examples I have made up, not James).

I’m no Trelise Cooper or Karen Walker

Another example for me is the goal of being a successful business woman.  But how do I measure this and what does that really look like for me? I’m no Trelise Cooper or Karen Walker and I don’t want to be – I am me and I am unique.

So I am reframing it now to include:

1. As a successful business woman, I collaborate with other local and Aotearoa based businesses.
2. As a successful business woman, I celebrate others successes with them and cheer them on.
3. As a successful business woman, I have a healthy balance with my work and home life.
4. As a successful business woman, it is more than fine to say no and set the boundaries that I want.
5.  As a successful business woman, I have a workspace that is fun, open, accommodating and safe for learning and growth.

It feels so much more empowering and achievable. Simple, gentle action and attitude changing steps that over time make an atomic difference.

I’m excited and I feel liberated from the need to achieve what at times have felt like unachievable goals.

Aroha nui

Kim